Friday, December 31, 2010

Sorting Movies and Pilates - SUDDENLY!

[First off, I just want to thank Meg & Witty Sam for being my first subscribers!]

Have you ever sat around the house and looked at your crap and wondered if other people had the same crap?  Or the same way of organizing said crap?  I mean, everyone has to have some sort of system for putting their stuff away.  Some people just toss it around, but even the most lazy among us still has to have some sort of system.

So I'm looking at my small (but mighty!) DVD collection...  I've always felt it only makes sense to sort your movies alphabetically.  But I learned a short while back that some people sort their movies by genre!  This was sort of an epiphany for me, as I'd gone round in my life assuming that everyone had their movie system setup the only logical way; my way!  I couldn't quite fathom how you actually found your movies if they were sorted by genre.  I mean, some movies are funny and dramas...the new (to me) term "dramedy" doesn't get it's own genre section does it??  I guess if you have a LOT of dramedies it would, huh?

But see, by sorting your movies alphabetically, you get hilarious combinations like having:

Shrek next to
(Shrek 2, technically)

The Silence of the Lambs next to
"I do like green ogres and ham."

The Sound Of Music next to
"Oh My, BEWBS!!!!"

Swordfish next to

Terms of Endearment! get the idea.

Having those dvd cases just rubbing shoulders with each other is somehow naughty in my mind.  Like I'm corrupting the innocence of the PG-rated movies... *evil chuckle* muah hahahahaha!


I guess it's the same with all things.  We tend to assume that parts of our lives are shared by most people.  Unless you know there is something (like being gay) that is definitely a part of the minority (like being Atheist), then you just figure it's a common thing for other people too.

I'm sure there's some psychological term for this.

...Now I don't want to get this confused with the whole Baader Meinhof thing...  That, explained simply, is when you get a new white honda something-or-other and suddenly it seems like everyone has a white honda something-or-other.  [Which in this case is totally true, because I have a white honda something-or-other and so does the rest of the world!  It's the world's most generic car!]

But, in general, it's not true.  The whole point of the Baader Meinhof "phenomenon" is that it just seems like it because your mind is suddenly more aware of that new thing in your life and notices it more in the world around you.  Got it?  Good.


    Phenomenon! (not to be confused with...)

    Mahna mahna... (distinct difference)

 Here's another example...  Say you start taking a pilates class.  Hey, the new year is upon us, it's about time you got your ass in shape, right?  Right.  So you're in this pilates class, surrounded by other people taking the same pilates class.  Suddenly you know a lot of people who are doing the same crazy (but totally good for you) balancing act they call exercise!  You've entered a subculture you weren't even aware of and it seems very reasonable (suddenly) to think that there are a lot more people doing this than you previously thought.  But you weren't actually sitting around wondering about people taking pilates classes until you joined and suddenly (SUDDENLY!) it matters to you.

Got me?

<SUDDENLY!!!!!!> ...I hate when I get stuck using a word multiple times and yet can't get away from said word, even though I know it's happening.

Words that are synonymous with suddenly?, no... Nothing else works in place of "suddenly" I'm sorry.

Of course, now I've reached the point where the word no longer looks like it's spelled right, or even a word for that matter.  What is this "suddenly" thing?  Is it used to describe soggy dishsoap-soaked sloths? (suds, soggy, sedentary... Oh, and the sloths are probably sullen, too!)

Don't mind me.

Last note.

In regards to the pilates example, I've seen this concept pop up many times in my life, so far.  Micro-subcultures that you KNOW NOTHING ABOUT!  You don't even know they exist!  But for the people within those groups, it can be their world.

People who do puppetry, people who are fluffers in porn movies, people who do stage makeup in China, people who are bike messengers, taxi drivers, BDSM people, newspaper delivery people, magazine scam sales slaves, beauty pageant mothers, dolphin trainers, book binders, political lobbyists, polo players, butlers, meat-processing-plant people, casino money counters, car parts factory workers, tattoo artists, city utility workers (sewers, ewwy!)...

Think about how little you would ever think of the lives of these people.  If you do think of them because you see them at work, think of how little you know about their daily lives.  Their entire world revolves around these things you know nothing about!  They know minute details about sh-tuff you couldn't be bothered to care about.

If you don't realize the amount of stuff in the world that you don't know, you're probably a lot happier than I am.  Even the "lowly" janitor knows more about some things than you do.  And yet, you know things that are in your everyday life that 99% of other people don't.  In your daily life.

Isn't that awesome?

Thursday, December 30, 2010

(ideas for future witty rants)

[Should I post this list?  I don't want to give away too much... But then again, maybe it's exciting to see what's to come?  I dunno, you tell me.  This is now my "breaking the fourth wall" font and color.]

Boy, you get some interesting images when you search google for "breaking the fourth wall."


Tattoos and Piercings (and implants) oh my!

Typos vs Spelling monstrosities

How far does one go in a blog?

Exes not in Texas...

Mandatory Sex Parties -

What did I just text that person? (12 hours ago?)

Cat-pee shrubs and Hedge apples

Politics and Man of the Year

Dates and other natural disasters (I'm assuming this will be a future topic)

Prison rape and kittens ...equally funny?

Nachos(e), puppy chow and other foods I could eat all day

Anatomy and doodling... for doodling's sake

Crumbs, cat scratches, and other annoying things that are worth the trade off...

Jumping off bridges and other fun injury stories...

Creative product wrappers (kisses and such)

Individual packaging waste...

Gummy bears.

Juggling, nostril flaring and other useful skills

Heat vs Ice... stretch AFTER you exercise...

Albinos in movies and the Bechdel Test


Money Makes The World Go Around...

Ahhh...another Favorite Movie - Cabaret

So today I filled out an application for Safeway, the main grocery chain in this part of the country. It would technically be my 3rd job, if I get it.

What are my other 2 jobs, you eagerly ask?  Well that's a long story, of course.  But long stories generally make for good blog-fodder (or so I've been told).  'Course I could save the long version for another time... Which I think might be a good idea in this case.  The last 5 years of my life will wait.  Sorry, didn't mean to get your hopes up.

The short answer - I work as a chiropractic assistant and I tutor the chiropractor's daughter in physics and algebra.  VoilĂ !

To further clarify; yes, I am a chiropractor, but I'm still waiting on passing the final board exam before I can apply for my license.  I graduated from college (after 4 years) in June of 2010.

Have I mentioned yet that I know all the words to American Pie?

For point of reference, there's a lot more to that song than just the death of those three musicians.

It's always good to have a solid point of reference, don't you think?  I mean...if you saw a picture of a chihuahua and you had never seen a chihuahua before... Well, first off, you'd probably pronounce it "chee who ah who ah" ...assuming it had a caption describing the breed.  But then, you'd have no idea it's a tiny dog!  Now, if there was a big old doberman next to it, then you'd be like "A-HA! That's a TINY dog!"  Moment of revelation and your life is changed completely.  Well, in regards to the dog world, at least...

BTW, in starting this blog-thing, I am reminded of something I just recently learned (like, yesterday).  It is now more correct to only put one space after the end of a sentence.   ....I'll let that sink in a bit...


Yeah.  Not two spaces anymore.  One.  *eyes my sentences*  Well, how the bloody hell am I going to change a 30 year old habit?  Okay okay...25 year habit?  ARGH!

Wait, wait... you probably want a reference, proof of my statement, evidentiary type thing, right?

Well, I'll google for you...lazy bastard.     ----> BAM! ...and MLA! (see "space after punctuation" at top)


Sometimes I'm compelled to actually laugh out loud when I type "lol" so that I'm not lying.

Is it weird that I like to put salami on nachos(e)?
(I also like to warm up the sliced salami (or salame) and then blot the greasy stuff out of it)

....more to come.

Every Song Starts With A Count

Today's Theme Intro - Bonnie Tyler's Going Through The Motions - "one two three four, one two..."

Thanks be to Allie at for the inspiration to try out this whole blog scene.

I really love Allie's doodles that she inserts in her postings.  They certainly make for more interesting reading.  And to think, I just gave away my little Wacum tablet that I owned.  Perhaps I'll doodle on paper and take pictures of em with my cell.  Then I can have really horrible quality images!  What do you think?

See, the thing is, I doodle things that don't make sense.  Like this:

I'll leave it smaller than original size, because it looks better that way.  If you notice the name in it, that's because this was dedicated to the guy who showed me this kind of drawing.  He fills entire pages with repeating patterns of all sorts.  I always found it hypnotic.

I think I'll stop here, because you gotta start somewhere, but it's good not to overdo it your first time and pull a muscle.  Or something like that.

Ranting to come, I promise.

" and out and out and in and up and down and all around..."