Saturday, February 19, 2011

Sexuality and gender bending...

A friend asked me about my identity.  The way I talk comes across butch, but my pictures are more femme (loosely speaking)... I felt it was worth sharing, so here's what I said...


I dove right into the masculine side of things when I came out / 1st yr of college and all that... the hair and the clothes was such a relief. My body type has never made me feel comfortable in "girly" attire.

The last few years, I've been working on finding my self, what makes me happy, how I want to express myself. So began my rediscovery of the feminine.

I'm still so very masculine/butch in my mannerisms and actions. I proudly showed off a multi-tool I had hanging out in my purse (along with the ever-present pocket knife).

but yes, that is an astute observation. I'm giving myself the freedom to explore and seeing what sticks... I'll always hate makeup, though. :) And I can't shave down my broad shoulders and muscular body type. So Whatever.


I think the word "androgyny" would come into play by now... I've always identified strongly with that type. Obsessed with people like Annie Lennox & David Bowie from a young age. And now Tilda Swinton and that La Roux chick (and all these women are straight, funnily enough).

I think people have more issue with androgyny than the butch/femme types. Too confusing to figure out. People love their labels.

I've always felt that we are so attached to labels b/c it just makes life easier. If you can fit someone into a pre-conceived box in your head, then you've got them figured out. For casual, on-the-street type interactions, this is a practical (if limiting) approach. But once you start to get to know someone better, the labels tend to fall away.

That same epiphany that ignorant straight people have when they are informed that a friend they've known is gay. That gay person doesn't fit into their box-notion, so they either adjust the box or lose a friend, right?

This is why it's so important to be "out and proud" of least that's gradually becoming less of an issue. I wish more people understand why well-rounded representation in the media is so important.

We don't all (or most) fit into The L-Word universe (unless you live in LA, right?), but at least it was exposure...


oh, btw...buying a purse (two actually) last year was a symbolic kind of thing for me. Now I'm very glad to not have to carry everything in my pockets. It's my "bag of holding." lol :) (I wish it wasn't so taboo for men to have bags/purses out here).

Our country as so much growing up to do. Only 200 years old, we (as a collective) act like up-tight, judgmental & reckless teenagers.


That is all.

(Not really)


  1. I was going to comment, but my comment got way too long. I ended up doing my own gender identity and sexuality post. I'll just say that my multi-tool was my best friend when I went on an educational trip to Belize 10 yrs ago. I sawed quite a few coconuts in half. Now, I no longer carry my pocket knife because there are metal detectors everywhere, and that being caught "trying to smuggle a weapon" into a government building can be kind of embarrassing.

  2. I love your post, Jackie. I've no idea why I didn't reply to you sooner. Those gov't buildings definitely put a damper on things, eh? :)