Monday, January 3, 2011

High heel lace up shoes and other ways to break your neck

No one said I have to post every day.  I never promised myself I would, nor made some silly new year's resolution to do so.

Yet, I'm curious to see how long I can keep this up.
Apparently they have classes on this stuff...

"Come, Mr. Tally-Man, tally me bananas..." (Sorry, needed two captions on that one)

Always good to challenge yourself, right?  Even if it's at something you've never don't before (like "blog")?

I think I should say for the record now that I abhor the word "blog."  Everything it stands for, in my mind, is detestable and wrong.  I've always considered blogging to be self-centered, populist and generally useless...

And then I started reading some "blogs."  I don't even want to use that word anymore.  Can I say "Brain Gas" instead?  Of course I'd have to shorten that for Teh Intarwebz...  I'm not too fond of "Br-as" how about "G-rain?"  Hrm.  Maybe Bra-Gas?  ...shoot, that's even worse.

The potentially life-saving Bra Gas-Mask!

Okay, I'm calling it "Gras"  (pronounced like "grass" in my mind) because I just want to be able to say that "I was reading some gras the other day and..."

Long story short, Grases(?) come in all sorts of variations and some of them are actually worth reading. So I figured I'd share my thoughts and see what people ...thought.  I embrace the self-centered-ness of it and will continue.  (I mean, seriously.  Put in the context of so much else in the world, how spoiled am I?  I may not have much money, but I have a home, my cat, lots of friends, supportive insane family, etc...)

And yet...

There's this:

Sit and stare a while.

While I have, and actually wear, a pair or two of modest-heeled shoes, these things just make me think "ouch."  While this is true for most high heeled shoes past the point of sanity (3.5 inches is that point), these are particularly disconcerting.

While many would argue I'm not exactly a fashion maven, I can still have a sense of taste.  All of these short-laced, chopped off, broken toed monsters are painful to look at (much less wear, hyuck hyuck).

I'm pretty sure I have Lady Gaga <Steve McQueen, technically. Thanks, Connie> to thank for this variation on the theme:

If you want to look like a ballerina "en pointe" in need of training heels, this is definitely the shoe for you.


Much love to Lady Gaga, btw.  No disrespect intended for those crazy shoes.  I watched the "Official Bad Romance" music video around 50 times (not exaggerating) when I discovered it last year.  When it won a VMA, I felt proud.  Now that it's been named "Best Music Video of the Decade" I feel entirely vindicated for forcing it on everyone I knew.

I really didn't intend to write much tonight.  So I'll head to bed now and leave you with the afore-mentioned music video, the word "preternatural" and a list of ways to break your neck.

 1 - Fall out of ski lift
 2 - Jump off bridge
 3 - Dive into water while drunk
 4 - Rock climbing
 5 - Motorcycling accident
 6 - Get hanged
 7 - Headbanging can actually cause fractures
 8 - Trip down stairs
 9 - Trip up stairs, then fall off landing
10 - Roller skate into wall
11 - Bike/skateboard off ramp
12 - Hard turn on ATV/3-wheeler
13 - Karate kick to the neck
14 - Anvil falls on head
15 - Roll out of wrong side of bed when you live in a cliff-side cave...
16 - Wear ridiculously unstable shoes
17 - Fall off horse
18 - Trampled by bull in Pamplona
19 - Really hard sneeze

....any I missed?

No comments:

Post a Comment